One hundred days after quitting

Two days ago, 100 days after quitting, I almost smoked a cigarette. I went back and forth, back and forth on benefit of quitting smoking cigarette. Of course I wanted to smoke a cigarette so I came up with the conclusion that quitting smoking is bad for me. Since I only smoked 5 cigarettes a day, the carcinogen intake is almost negligible. It is bad because I gained weight since quitting. It is bad because my mood swung too much since quitting. It is bad because no good has come out of it.

Richard almost drove me to Ottawa to buy Snus. I decided not to go. If I succumb to my craving for nicotine, I still have 6 packs of cigarettes sitting in the cupboard.

Quitting smoking cigarettes is that hard. I have smoked cigarettes regularly (3 to 8 cigarettes a day) for 20 years now. Without nicotine I am lost. I do not have a reference point as who I am without nicotine. I cannot remember what I was like without cigarette.

I am trying to find myself again, hopefully without the aid of nicotine.