Saturday, November 28, 2009

One hundred days after quitting

Two days ago, 100 days after quitting, I almost smoked a cigarette. I went back and forth, back and forth on benefit of quitting smoking cigarette. Of course I wanted to smoke a cigarette so I came up with the conclusion that quitting smoking is bad for me. Since I only smoked 5 cigarettes a day, the carcinogen intake is almost negligible. It is bad because I gained weight since quitting. It is bad because my mood swung too much since quitting. It is bad because no good has come out of it.

Richard almost drove me to Ottawa to buy Snus. I decided not to go. If I succumb to my craving for nicotine, I still have 6 packs of cigarettes sitting in the cupboard.

Quitting smoking cigarettes is that hard. I have smoked cigarettes regularly (3 to 8 cigarettes a day) for 20 years now. Without nicotine I am lost. I do not have a reference point as who I am without nicotine. I cannot remember what I was like without cigarette.

I am trying to find myself again, hopefully without the aid of nicotine.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

11 weeks and counting

It has been 11 weeks since I quit smoking. Cigarette is still on my mind. I find myself contemplating different forms of getting my nicotine craving fixed.
The first one came to mind is e-cigarette. So I did a lot of reading on the web about e-cigarette. This is what is described by wikipedia regarding Health Canada’s attitude on e-cigarette:

On March 27, 2009, Health Canada issued an advisory against electronic cigarettes. The advisory stated "Although these electronic smoking products may be marketed as a safer alternative to conventional tobacco products and, in some cases, as an aid to quitting smoking, electronic smoking products may pose risks such as nicotine poisoning and addiction.

……………………………….

In Canada, compliance of electronic cigarette use with public smoking bans is currently under review. In March 2009, Health Canada called for the immediate cessation of imports, sales, and advertising of electronic smoking products containing nicotine, and advised Canadians not to purchase or use any electronic smoking products. Under the Food and Drugs Act, electronic smoking products containing nicotine require market authorization before they can be imported, marketed, or sold. No market authorization has been granted for any electronic smoking product.


Therefore, it is not possible to have access to e-cigarette in Canada.

I then read further on Nicotine and found out that toxicity of nicotine is higher than that of cocaine. According to wikipedia, the lethal dose of nicotine (LD50) is 3 mg/kg to mice as compared with 95.1 mg/kg for cocaine. It is impossible however to overdose on smoking alone. On the other hand, spilling an extremely high concentration of nicotine onto the skin can result in intoxication or even death since nicotine readily passes into the bloodstream from dermal contact. When one orders e-cigarette, it comes with multi-vials of nicotine solutions. Imaging these vials break and gets absorbed by a child. Therefore, the warning from Health Canada regarding e-cigarette does have a merit.

I was shocked to read the part about nicotine’s therapeutic values; its positive effect on Parkinson’s disease, Alzheimer disease and prevention to weight gain etc. I guess we are still in a democratic society, even though I doubt often its ability to deal in democratic way whenever it comes to cigarette smoking. Of course, a lot of people instinctively know the therapeutic values of nicotine. That is the reason I believe they never quit smoking regardless how much anti-smoking propaganda is out there. A friend’s father quit smoking, just to be told by his wife to pick it up again because she could not tolerate his foul mood. In my own case, I have gained 10 pounds after 11 weeks not smoking. I need to clarify here. I used to eat whatever I wanted and didn’t do any exercise and I used to weigh around 100 pound with a flat stomach. I only smoke 5 to 8 cigarettes a day. After 11 weeks without cigarettes, I weighed 110 pound and almost all the weight is on my abdomen.

Then, I discovered Snus. I thought that I have found a solution to all my problems. It has way lower carcinogens than cigarette smoking, yet maintains all of nicotine’s therapeutic values. Bad news is that it is not available in Montreal. Of course, I can always order online. But Snus is pasteurized and should be refrigerated. Therefore, you do not get a fresh product when ordering online from another country. In addition, with punitive duty and tax on tobacco, I do not think it will be problem-free to get your Snus through customs. Of course, if I must do Snus, I am sure that I will find a way.

In the meantime, I bought a Swiss Ball to work on my tummy. I will re-evaluate the situation after 6 months of quitting. Why 6 months? My husband believes that this is the amount of time it takes to truly convert a person to a vegetarian. Hopefully after 6 months, I will be converted to a truly nicotine independent person.

Right now, my life has no stress whatsoever and I can afford to contemplate back and forth about cigarette smoking and nicotine. However, I would not suggest anyone to quit smoking if you have to deal with stress. On the other hand, reducing the amount of cigarette intake will help a lot. Better yet, why not try Snus, a less harmful way of getting a nicotine fix.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

First Victory

It has been 21 days since I stopped smoking cigarettes. Though I claim victory in the first cycle of habit forming, the battle is not over.

Last night I told my mother about not smoking. She is so happy about it. It was almost worthwhile to quit smoking for her alone. But of course, she also said: “Now do not start again”, typical behavior of a mother.

Was it easy these past 3 weeks?

I would say that it was exceedingly difficult. Most of the time, I felt dizzy, out of focus and resentful. Fortunately, the 8 km daily walk has helped me coping with these problems.

Did I feel differently on my energy level?

Not at all, except that I have gained a few pounds, which is fine as I was more on the side of underweight before I quit smoking.

Was it worthwhile to quit?

You bet. I am freer today as I got rid of the hold nicotine had on me and I value freedom dearly.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Smoking is till on my mind

Smoking is till on my mind. It’s been less than 21 days since I stopped smoking, so a new smokeless habit has not been formed yet. Apparently it takes 21 days to form a habit, so they tell me.

Walking along the river, it came to my mind about what is good about smoking cigarette. It satisfies a want, a desire. Whenever you feel like smoking a cigarette, and you smoke one; you are yielding to your desire. You feel great when you yield to your desire. You feel satisfaction.

Smoking is till on my mind. It is perfectly acceptable to think about it and even to debate the merit on smoking. I am just not smoking cigarette anymore.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

How I quit smoking

How did I quit smoking? I did it cold turkey.

In my last blog I talked about why I quit smoking. When you tell people that you have quit smoking, they never ask you why you quit smoking, but they always ask you how. To most people, you quit because smoking is bad for your health, that’s what the mass propaganda machine says all over the world.

To me, it is the why I could not get around it. I was stuck with why I have to quit. Once the why becomes clear, the how comes naturally.

It might be helpful for those who try to convince themselves or their loved ones to quit smoking to look at how I arrived at my conclusion in quitting cigarette smoking. Nobody can ever convince me that smoking less than 10 cigarettes a day is critical to my health and longevity any more than our daily consumptions of fat, sugar and carcinogens.

However, it is quite obvious to see that cigarette smoking (nicotine) is highly addictive. When that addiction is being overlooked and smoking is considered fashionable, such as in the 50s, I would never have needed to quit. Now the addiction is being looked down and people think you are retarded if you smoke. Therefore, even if cigarette smoking is good for your health, the benefit will be canceled out due to the negativity you encounter every time you smoke a cigarette.

Austrian philosopher Hans Kelsen believes that although law is separate from morality; we ought to obey it. That is how I feel about smoking. Although the effect of cigarette smoking on health is not clear cut, one ought to quit, just because the society demands it.

Imagine my first three days of not smoking. I felt totally bullied into doing it even though it was my own decision.

I still crave for a cigarette; I will be o.k. without one.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

I quit smoking

It has been 2 weeks since I stopped smoking.

I had wanted to quit smoking many times in the past, but was able to talk myself out of it mainly because I did not believe the impact of cigarette smoking alone on health and longevity.

Sure I believe that smoking is bad for one’s health. So are many other things. Since smoking is enjoyable, why focus on smoking alone?

According to one Life Expectancy Calculator, I am expected to live till 102 regardless whether I have never smoked or have smoked consistently 5 cigarettes a day (which I did). According to another life expectancy calculator (unfortunately I no longer have the link), smoking takes away three years of life, which is not a huge deal.

So why did I stop smoking now?

For two reasons only; one is that the world holds a very different view and second is nicotine is highly addictive. Because the world holds an extremely opposite view from smokers, it makes smoking very difficult to do and smokers ridiculous looking. Since it is an addiction, you must smoke when it is time to smoke even if it puts you in an awkward situation. You can no longer call smoking enjoyable when you must stand on the sidewalk as far away as possible to a restaurant door, trying to take as many puffs in the shortest time possible because the temperature is minus 20 degrees Celsius and you are freezing.

Canada has universal health care system. It seems that all medical staffs believe that smoking kills. If you are sick (regardless the type of ailment), you are asked to quit smoking otherwise smoking becomes the main or partial cause of your illness. At least that’s how they make you feel. By quitting now, I will feel psychologically more secure that I will not be refused medical care in case I need it.

Richard broke his ankle two months ago. He was still asked at the hospital whether he smokes cigarettes. Since he does not smoke, we had no further probe. I imagine myself in that situation. I probably would not have responded to that question very well since I would have been totally preoccupied in feeling sorry for myself and would have considered that question unrelated to a broken ankle. I know someone who always lies about smoking cigarettes when she goes to a clinic because she does not wish to be nagged about.

How do I feel now?

I still crave for a cigarette. However, I am mature enough that I no longer wish to rebel for the sake of rebelling. With my personality, once a decision is made it is hard to go back. So I will be safe in my new journey as a non smoker.